This week is an anonymous quote that I feel is quite fitting for me at the moment.
"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect,
it means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections."
Before I was told I had PND I had very high expectations of what I wanted to achieve and the way I wanted things to be. I felt like a failure if I didn't reach and maintain that standard. I wanted to be a great Mum who didn't lose the plot with the kids. I wanted to read to them, bake cakes and go for walks in the woods playing hide and seek. I wanted the house to be tidy and free from piles of clothes, bits of paper and whatever other junk people walked in with. I wanted to have the house decorated way before now so it felt more like "our" house. Add 1 (almost) teenager, an over adventurous toddler and a 4 month old bundle to this list and, for some reason, I felt like I couldn't cope!?
Now I have typed it out I can see just how ridiculous it was, to think I could manage all that and stay sane whilst having very little sleep - no brainer really isn't it. I honestly thought I was a failure and beat myself up over it. I used to put Squishes dummy in when I came down to make his bottle at 3am so I would have time to sort some washing out before he cried again. Madness, I tell you!!
I would still like all these things but I realise now it's going to take a lot longer so I don't beat myself up over it. My to do list now has about 4 things on it, rather than being a list of everything I can think of. I am a lot happier with myself now. If I manage to do one thing on my list great, two is brilliant, three or four is bloody unbelievable and I'm on Wonder Woman form that day!
The world wont end if the floors aren't swept, it will just be a fluffier place to live for another day :) x