Pimp My Hoover

Yes, hoovering. I am going to write a post about bloody hoovering! Since when did this become such a trying task. Of all the housework, hoovering has to be the one I dislike least. Compared to, say, washing up. I HATE washing up. Probably because it has to be done once daily at least.

I like watching all the little bits getting sucked away leaving a clear path of carpet. I get great satisfaction from that. Yes, it does sound a bit geeky/ weird I agree! I also hate walking on little bits when I have bare feet.

The problem is, our hoover has seem much better days. Its one of those pull around jobbies, a bit like a Henry. The hose keeps coming out if you pull it too hard. Lazy folk have pulled it over objects by the hose and snapped the clips off. I bodged it with insulating tape for a while but that's not working any more. Buy a new one? Yes, I thought that too but I have scoured the world wide spares dept and there are none to be found. Apparently our model is discontinued (its 4 yrs old!).

The other problem is the cable retracts on its own. This was brilliant when I first got it but now its a nightmare. The pull is so strong it pulls the plug out of the socket just enough so it goes on and off when you move the cable. This also makes things bloody annoying.

To make it a little more attractive my hoover has been "Pimped" by Chaos. He has decorated it with his stickers so now it is a very colourful, irritating piece of junk! It now has days of the week and the months all over it in a variety of bright colours.

I have also tried using the broom, instead of the hoover but as any Parent will no doubt tell you, they are rarely used for sweeping. Brooms become lances for young practicing knights intent on knocking their little brothers of their new wobbly pins. They also double as the young knights faithful steed which carries them at break neck speed around the house, also knocking little brothers over.

Picture the scene.. I am trying to hoover while the boys are distracted by Mr Tumble in the other room. The hose keeps coming off, the power is intermittent so I'm getting a little heated. I then find the end has been bunged up with weetabix or other such delights. Whilst I am unblocking the thing, Mr T seems to have lost his appeal and two boys come bounding in looking for new entertainment... Aaaarrrggghhhh!!!