I was making some sandwiches earlier and clumsily, I dropped the knife. Instinctively, I jumped back to avoid the falling blade and yelped. Luckily, it clattered noisily down between the oven and the cupboard so I remained unscathed. Normally if there is a loud bang and a shout in the house, someone asks if you're ok. Today, my yelp was met with silence.
It's funny the things that remind you you're on your own. Although most of the time I'm alright, sometimes it does get to me. Mostly it's the practical things I struggle with such as two sleeping babies in the car that need to be carried up to bed.
Its pissing with rain and there is a mountain of shopping and two screaming kids in the car.
One child is in the bath and the other is up to no good in another room.
Two squeaky clean boys suddenly appear next to me in the garden in the rain while Im getting the 4th load of (now wet) washing in. Not only are they now wet but you know they are going to slip over in the mud on their way back to the house.
There are other things too like walking my poor dog. I now have to fit that in when the boys are awake or bribe Big to take her out for me. I don't have time between getting in from work and the boys going to bed so some days she doesn't go out. Poor thing.
Initially, I was staying up until nearly midnight to keep on top of the housework. This place turns into a sty rapidly if I don't do some every day. I haven't done any for a couple of days as I've been so tired and it really shows! The kitchen is covered in washing up, there is junk all over the dinning room and toys all over the place. I have taken to pushing them against the walls so they don't cause such a trip hazard. When I'm feeling down the state of the house makes me feel like I'm coping even less. Looking at it all now, it makes me miserable knowing I can either jump up and clean like a fiend (not happening) or leave it til my next day at home.... Friday. That means that the house will be like this until next weekend. UGH!
Another thing that occurred to me, when I got home from work on Thursday I had a chat with my Dad about how the kids had been and how work was going before he went home. That was my last adult conversation. It's now Sunday night. I find that incredibly tough. Having nobody to talk to about the exciting/mundane/total shite that flits through my empty head. Yes I can ring people but it's not quite the same is it. The delight in having an uninterrupted natter with a friend over a cuppa is becoming a distant memory.
JEEEZ! Hark at me. I've just read some of that and it's right bloody miserable innit! Sorry. Feel a bit better now though so happy days. The wonders of blogging eh?!
So as you have probably worked out, my husband has moved out. It's been two months now so I'm starting to get into the swing of things. I'm also looking at new ways of getting things done that I haven't done before. The state of the house tresses me out. It shouldn't I know but it does. Rather than tire myself out trying to keep on top of it, I have decided to get a cleaner once a week to give me a head start. Even if they just hoover through and clean the bathroom it will make a huge difference. It will also be much less work for me to keep it together during the week.
I have also been looking in to getting a slimline dishwasher as I HATE WASHING UP!!! I have always seen them as a bit of a luxury for lazy folk until now. I stand fully corrected and wholeheartedly apologize to anyone I have just offended. I am a complete convert to the magic of the white whirring cupboard and can't wait to have a washing wonder installed in my kitchen!
I briefly toyed with the idea of getting someone to walk the dog as well but I don't see why Big can't detach himself from his Xbox long enough to wander down the road with her. I'm sure it wont kill him and his batteries wont go flat before he returns and plugs back in to his Xbox.
If anyone has any tips on how to adjust to life as a single Mum of three boys, I would love to hear them. Believe me I need all the help I can get!