For anyone who is or has parented teenagers I'm sure the heading says it all. My eldest son is 14. While I am lucky that he will still voluntarily talk to me, occasionally be seen out in public with me and helps around the house, it is still a really tough job being his Mum.
Like all parents, I am trying to find a balance between allowing him enough time with his friends, time to do his homework and time to spend here. Like most boys his age, he would rather spend his free time out with his mates/girlfriend. He is fairly sensible for his age and I doubt that he would get in to trouble so I don't have that to worry about.
Unfortunately I feel like I am in the minority when it comes to parenting rules. Personally, I think he is far too young to be staying overnight at girls houses. His girlfriend's parents offered for him to stay after going out bowling one evening. I said no , mean ogre that I am. I'm totally unreasonable, apparently.
Last weekend he said he was staying at his mates house overnight, which I said was fine. Last night I noticed a post on his Facebook page saying that he was with a group of girls camping in their garden (obviously not staying at his mates house). One of these girls was his girlfriend. Needless to say when he asked me earlier if he could stay at his mates house tonight, I said no. I also explained why. That he had lied and was therefore untrustworthy. He showed no remorse, not even a sorry. He said his mate went to stay with his Dad so he couldn't stay there. I told him in that situation he should have come home. "Yeah I spose"
What do you do?! I try not to be too rigid with him and let him stay out then he does things like this. He has done this before and we stopped him staying out unless we had a contact number for the parents where he was staying. I know that would totally embarrass him if I did that again but I don't know what else to do. I just want to make sure he is safe and know where he is if he's out overnight.
Does anyone have any suggestions? I don't want to keep him in but he has to understand why I need to know where he is. Surely that's not too much to ask.
I am the proud owner of a sixteen almost 17 year old boy. He only comes out of his lair to feed and I cannot recall a time we had an actual conversation that didn't consist of me asking a bajillion questions and being answered in one word grunts! He has a few times gone for sleepovers which included girls and boys. ( I know, I was picturing orgies ) but each time I've insisted on the name and contact number of the person they've stayed at. Fortunately his friends seem lovely but it's a whole different ball game to parenting his older sister. I was on chatting terms with all her friends parents. Parents of teenage boys I find, are like a secret society. I've only met them a few times at parents evening or when collecting and dropping off - I'm reassured by them, that it's not just me, who is kept hidden by their son! It's a scary world for us! Stick to your guns, it's your job to be embarrassing. Tell him he keeps you informed at all times or he doesn't go. It's what I do. X good luck!
ReplyDeletePhew! Thank you, its so nice to know it's not just me. It is really tough sometimes to know what to do for the best. He is a good lad and I hope he is sensible enough to keep himself out of trouble. Fingers crossed eh?! x
DeleteHi Kat! Visiting from Australia. I have four boys and a girl. 24,23, 21, 19, 17 so have been through this nightmare:) Mine are just beginning to acknowledge me in public! I got revenge by writing about them in my blog.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! That must be tough to deal with. I think you are doing absolutely the right thing, but I can imagine how unpopular it must seem to him.14 seems very young to be having to deal with this sort of thing. As my son is nearly 13 it kind of frightens me.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!