Holiday Chaos

Oh my woolley word, I can't believe how shattered I am as the holidays come to a close. As you may know, 3 year olds aren't funded during holidays so I have only had one day to myself a week over the last three weeks as it's been all we can afford. I am quite embarrassed to say they have totally worn me out! I love spending time with my boys but I have to be honest, I'm really looking forward to them going to nursery and school on Tuesday. I am going to a spa as a birthday treat with a friend to relax!



Over the last few weeks we have experienced some interesting behaviour from Chaos. I say interesting but he's been a bit of a nightmare to be honest. I have blogged about it previously here. We have had problems with him eating, fighting with his brothers, obsessing over toys and throwing tantrums. It has been really hard work, especially as Squish has started to copy his behaviour.

I asked at my parenting group for advice as we hit an all time low last week. Chaos lost the plot and we had to shut him in the lounge on his own for a few minutes to calm down. He was throwing anything he could get his hands on and hitting his brother with trucks. Even the dog ran out to escape! I was advised to really reinforce any positive and calm behaviour shown by either him or his brother and try to ignore (as much as possible) the negative. While I agree with positive reinforcement in parenting, I feel that Chaos requires something more as he is such a bright boy and likes to challenge people. He is a thinker and needs stimulating almost constantly which is why he is such hard work.

I am pleased to say that things have slightly improved since then. I saw a lady called Bea Marshall on This Morning who was talking about "Yes Parenting". It isn't as relaxed an approach as it sounds. The idea is to be more allowing of the things your child is interested in and allow your child to make up their own minds about things. For example, Bea let her sons choose what they wanted for breakfast every morning. For three months they had ice cream and she wondered if she had made a mistake in trying this new parenting idea. Since then her boys have continued to choose their own breakfasts but knowing they can have whatever they like they choose more nourishing options such as egg on toast.

I have emailed Bea about Chaos and she kindly replied with some really positive suggestions. She also explained his behaviour in a different light which has helped us see the whole situation differently. With these things in mind we have been serving our meals slightly differently and it seems to be working. Instead of putting food on the boys plates we are putting all the different foods in bowls and letting the boys choose what they would like to eat. Chaos seems to be eating a lot more than he previously has and there is no longer a battle at the table. He now knows he can choose what he wants and when he's had enough he can get down. We are also letting him have foods in between meals if he asks for them as it suits him more to graze than to eat big meals. He seems to be asking less already as he is eating more at meal times.

I am not sure how this system will work in other areas but it has definitely had a positive effect on his food intake. This in turn has calmed him down a bit as he isn't so hungry and moody all the time. We are still having issues but one step at a time...

Please pop over to read more about Bea and her parenting style on her website. She is currently working on a book and I for one will be getting a copy!