You see I have been putting on a brave face again. I can't do it today. I feel like my head is going to explode with all the jumbled crap knocking about in there. The boys and their constant noise is driving me nuts and it all just feels too much. I can't wait to move now so I will be able to get out more, even if it's just for a walk. Somehow going out here just feels like a mammoth effort. An event that is too much for me anyway.
I thought I was past all this. I thought I was on the up. I have the overwhelming feeling that this is never going to go away, not completely. I am always going to have a shadow slightly darker and consuming than everyone else's. I am trying to be positive and think tomorrow will be better. I am extremely tired and hope that this is all because of that.
I find it so hard when my husband is away. I know it's only for a few days but somehow I feel so totally alone and it seems to attack me then. It's not long until we move but when every minute is a struggle, it feels like forever.
Just for today I'm not going to worry about the mountain of washing up
Just for today the wet washing can stay in the machine
Just for today I'm gonna wear my pjs ALL day
Just for today I'm not going to worry about tomorrow
Just for today rocking is ok
Just for today there's no pressure
Just for today being like this is ok
I'm sure you'll feel better tomorrow, or the next day, but so wise to take one day at a time, and make the most of the sunshine when it appears, no-one feels great about going out when its so dark and wet and windy. It WILL get better, thats a promise. x x x
ReplyDeleteI'm going to say that tiredness is probably your biggest enemy for sure a long with all the things you've been thinking about. Just try to keep that old shadow as a lurker. It's tough i know, do drop me a line if you need to talk hun xxx
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling better today. You did the right thing giving yourself a break yesterday. As time goes on the shadow isn't so dark and only appears briefly every now and then. You've had a heck of a time and sometimes feeling down is a normal reaction to life. Keep going Kat x
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