A Few Random Questions

Occasionally, I have some odd things pop in to my head that I don't know the answer to. I thought maybe you could shed some light or you may have some randomness of your own you wish to air. So, being the pioneer off weirdness that I am, I don't mind going first

1. Why can't men pee in the toilet even with aiming equipment?

2.Why am I the only person in this house who can have a bath OR shower without soaking the floor?

3. Washing which part of the human body results in shower gel on the ceiling??

4. How do babies know to scream at the exact second you are on the threshold of dream filled bliss?

5. Why does nobody warn you your lovely, well raised child will become one of those fully fledged, grunting, incoherent, messy, floppy haired teenagers overnight?

6. Why does being on the phone attract children from miles around to come and ask you silly, non urgent questions like "can I have and apple?" Then cause a debate when you inevitably say "NO"?

7. Why do people always talk through what I want to watch then sulk through the adverts when I tell them to "shut up"?

8. Why do you always run out of wipes on a dirty nappy and never on a wet one?

9. Why do kids hands seem to multiply when changing a nappy and not at a useful time like bringing in the shopping?

10. Also, why do they always try to grab their arse when they have had a poo??

11. Why are kids only hungry for what they want and not what you have spent hours lovingly preparing for them, even if it is their favourite?

12. Why is nearly all baby food orange and nearly impossible to get out of clothing? (This is obviously the food of choice for body art in babies)

13. If you covered yourself completely in soggy weetabix, would you be able to move once it dried?

14. Why do men stand in doorways and women gather in the kitchen?

15. When a gay couple get married do they both go on the Stag/Hen night or have separate ones?