Wednesday 14 November 2012

Humping Toddlers

I realise this is a rather suggestive title but it is perfectly innocent, I can assure you. Well, almost! I think I should have called it Toddlers Humping which would be slightly more accurate. Anyway, I digress...

Chaos has a blue muslin cloth as a comforter that he sleeps with every night, along with his Iggle Piggle (Pigglebear). Squish has white muslins so they don't get them mixed up. They both snuggle into them if they are upset or tired. We don't generally take them out if we go anywhere unless we are staying overnight somewhere or the boys aren't feeling too well.

Recently, Chaos has been paying his cloth quite a lot of attention. Initially, this began as he was falling to sleep so we just thought he was getting comfortable (Like dogs do when they circle their beds before lying down). Gradually, he became more and more attached to his cloth, refusing to go to bed without it and bringing it downstairs in the morning with him. The humping activity has increased to beyond bedtimes now. He can be found almost anywhere with his cloth...

I have noticed he does it more often if he is tired, upset or annoyed with something. I was getting quite concerned, wondering where it was all leading. Would he end up trying to do this while we were out at friends houses or shopping? Imagining the questions I may have to answer made me cringe. How could I explain why my baby was humping his cloth in the middle of the supermarket?! So far though, so good!!

I spoke to our childrens nurse (who is amazing, very down to earth and practical too). She simply said
 "He has discovered something that feels nice and is too young to understand what he is doing. I have A LOT of parents come to see me about this problem so don't think there is anything wrong, it is perfectly normal. As he starts to interact with more children, he will learn what is or isn't acceptable behaviour."
I have to be honest, I was so relieved. Not so much by what she said but the way she said it. She was very casual, as if she did hear it nearly every day, so that put my mind at ease much more.

I have since spoken to other parents of boys and girls who have experienced this with their toddlers. The general opinion is they grow out of it unless there is an underlying problem. Here is a quote from drgreene.com.
If the genital play becomes and remains a consuming passion, I would look for and address underlying reasons, rather than trying to stop the behavior. Is the child tense and in extra need of self-comforting? Are people overreacting and thus reinforcing the habit? Is there a chronic, low-grade urinary tract infection or yeast infection? Is the child overstimulated and needing to soothe himself to withdraw? Is she understimulated and bored? Dealing with the cause will bring the behavior back to a level of enthusiasm that doesn't take away from other interests.
In our case, several of these issues apply which we have been trying to address recently. (You can read about the initial problems here and read an update here). The only time we have intervened is when he has been lying on the floor and in danger of being trodden on (we have a galley kitchen!), then we just move him to the sofa.

Over the last few days we have really worked hard at occupying him more which in turn has lead to him 'humping' a lot less. I think once we sort out his other issues this one will also settle down again, hopefully!

I remember reading somewhere that boys have a surge of testosterone about this age which is why they get a bit aggressive, stroppy and push the boundaries all the time. This would explain a lot about Georges behaviour over all so it is more a question of consistency with him I think.
As uncomfortable as it makes me feel, I am turning a blind eye to it as I think it is a harmless phase that he is going through that he finds comfort from. I hope by parenting him sympathetically he will reduce his need for this type of comfort. If not I will gradually relocate him to his room!!

I hope this helps if you are having this sort of behaviour with your toddler.





1 comment:

  1. Even with having had 4 boys, this is not something I've come across before! I'm sure the right thing is to not draw attention to it, and as you say, as other things improve you'll probably find he "needs" to do it less and less.

    ReplyDelete

Please leave a comment as I would love to know who comes too visit, thanking you muchly!