And Calm....

Ok I'm feeling much better now. My eldest Sat with the other three so I could take the dog round the block. It doesn't take much to let off the pressure. Sometimes not knowing when you can get that much needed release contributes to the rising pressure. It reallyi s a battle of internal wills.

I feel really disappointed for being unable to model better behaviour for my children. I realise there is a  lot going on with us at the moment but I am a hypocrite to discipline them for their outbursts without keeping a check on mine.

I really need to take better care of myself or I am not going to improve things for any of us. 

 

I have to say, I find people incredibly hard work. I saw somethingt he other day and it is so true for me. 

Once you discover the peace and quiet of isolation, 

you'll want to stay there

While I was on my walk, I realised how stressed I feel trying to maintain a "normal" life. I can't cope with the negative attitudes of others or trying to conform to the narrow minded restrictions on behaviour. 

When I lived in the village, live was much less stressful. We used to laugh. We painted and crafted our way through the day. Walking the dog and having naps if we needed them. Our neighbours were lovely, unlike the noisy ones we have now. 

I miss that. I miss feeling relaxed and enjoying myself with my children. I really want to get back to that, or something very similar!