An Actual Post!

Wow, I am actually going to write a post! I haven't done this for so long I feel a bit nervous. It's a bit like public speaking, if you haven't done it for a while you get a few jitters and wonder if people are going to listen or heckle. I know I won't get heckled here though so I shall continue....

The reason for my post? I need to offload and I have wanted to write this for a while I just haven't had the chance. The boys have been sleeping in turns and kept me on the go constantly for the last few days.
I am having problems. This time it's not really me but my husband. Now I have fought my way out of the dark it appears to have swallowed him in my wake. I had noticed a slight change in him a while ago but it is gradually getting worse and I really don't know what to do about it. He has been to the doctor and even though he scored 21 out of 27 on the depression questionnaire, he hasn't been given any help. He was told to spend more time with me and that would make him feel better.

I'm not sure why I am writing this really. I know no one can help, I think I just need to get it all off my chest. I know he has just helped me through a really awful time and I am truly grateful as I wouldn't have coped without him. I am finding it hard not to get annoyed that he wont help himself. He stays up late, works nights at weekends, eats junk a lot, doesn't talk about anything, has a really short fuse and doesn't really see what the problem is.

I don't feel like we are a couple anymore. We used to talk and spend all our time together and now all we discuss is dinner and developments with the boys. I'm not saying all that is his fault, far from it. I just really miss him and want him back, he just doesn't seem that keen on the return journey. He has the week off next week so I am hoping a week together with no work might help us sort things out. I would like to make a plan of our goals so we have something to aim for. At the moment I feel like we are just drifting through the days with no real purpose. I don't really mind what it is, I just want US to be working towards the same thing for a change.

Sometimes it is really hard being the driver all the time. I know if I don't instigate something it wont get done. I would like that to change. I wonder if other women feel like this or if it's just me? Has anyone else had to live with a depressed person? How do you cope? How can I help? I don't know, Anyone??