Wow, things have gone a bit crazy the last few days which is why I haven't blogged much. I'm not coping too well at the moment and can only assume this to be the result of lowering my Anti Depressants. It is too much of a coincidence to be anything else really.
Some days I wonder if I am ever going to kick this bloody pnd for good. Just when I'm flying along going great guns, it rears it's head and seems to stop me in my tracks. To say I'm a bit pissed off with it is an understatement really. I wish I could just be myself again, without crying or screaming when it gets too much. I'm fed up of my poor husband coming home to find me in a heap on the floor feeling totally overwhelmed and inadequate. I was foolish enough to think those days were over. Hmmm... Maybe not. Not just yet anyway.
Still, it's not the end of the road. I have increased them to the original dose as there is no way I'm going back to how I was. I know it has only been a week but I was a total wreck the other day and I can feel it all building up like it used to. I don't want that. Not for any of us. I will go back to the Dr and see what they say. Maybe in the New Year things will be different. It wont be quite so festively stressful, that's for sure!
My husband has been working a lot over the weekend and is doing 12 hour night shifts this week. He has a 1 and a half hour commute each way to cope with as well. This is going to be really tough for him. All I can do is try to occupy the boys during the day so he can sleep as much as possible. I really feel for him. He text just now to say he is standing by a gate letting trucks in and out all night and it is -7 where he is. MINUS 7 DEGREES!! He is a bloody hero isn't he?!
I am really annoyed that he has had this job thrust on him at the last minute. He only found out this morning. His Grandad is very ill in hospital with renal failure and now, should anything happen, he wont be able to get back to see him. He is already shattered from being woken up all through the night by the kids and a late visit to see his Grandad so I really hope he is careful coming home in all the ice. I wish I could help him out somehow. Things just seem really bloody tough at the moment and I hope it's not long before they improve!
Moan over, as you were :o) x
hello hon. Im sorry things are bad at the moment. You are doing all the right things about that though. The anti d's will kick in again and you will feel stronger. You remind me so much of myself. Keeping my boys quiet while my husband tried to sleep after long night shifts was hideous and soooooo stressful. Thinkibg of you and sending you a big hug. Sarah xxx
ReplyDeleteHi Kat. I'm sending you HUGE positive hugs and so glad you are determined to look after yourself, whether that means upping your medication, going to the doctor's or both. I don't know what it feels like to suffer from pnd but i think you are so brave to discuss it openly and honestly on your blog. It's good to let it out. Your family are so lucky to have someone as thoughtful and caring as you are in their lives. Moan away every day on your blog if it helps. Safe journey home for your hero husband xxxxx
ReplyDeletePoor you! And poor him. No wonder you are feeling crap now. Really hope increasing the medication helps and things pick up soon. X
ReplyDeletePoor you!! Huge hugs and positive vibes.....take each day at a time, baby steps and look for the good in small things. THis blog post was voted as POST OF THE WEEK so you get a #PAPS. WEll done!!! You can head over to my blog to see all of the other posts of the week as well.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to have found your blog and now follow you on twitter!
Be great if you hooked up@!
Love S.A.M xoxo
WoW! Post of the week! I hadn't heard of it before tonight. Thank you so much. I shall certainly pop over for a read of the other posts and link up any that catch my eye. Off to find you on twiter! xx
DeleteSo sorry you are having a hard time. Its probably a good idea to increase your meds again. I am feeling like I'm at the point where I could maybe reduce mine but I spoke to the doctor last time I saw her and she said there was no way I should alter it in the middle of the xmas period! So am staying put. Maybe in the spring when the good weather starts I'll reduce it. Good for you for talking about it though. Lots of people on here happy to give you support. xxx
ReplyDelete