You know how it is, whenever there is a major decision to be made, there are always doubts. Life is all about choices, right? Making the right choices. Doing what's best for everyone concerned. But what happens if that choice is a bit of a gamble?
Cards on the table
My husband is moving out to spread his wings. To learn the life lessons he missed out when we got together. He has a misguided idea of priorities. He doesn't always take his responsibilities seriously and is totally hopeless with money. Pretty much like any other guy his age right? I'm not writing this to slag him off or point out his short comings. I realise a lot of this has to do with having me to fall back on, sometimes rather heavily! I just wonder if, even though it is the right thing for him, is it worth the gamble?
I know there are a lot of people who put their faith in fate and "what will be will be". I usually agree but I'm gambling with the love of my life. This is the man I have waited my life for. Do I really want to take a chance on him not coming back? Having read that back, my instant thought was - then it wasn't meant to be.
I guess sometimes we have to just take the chance and not lose hope that things will turn out for the better. Jesus Christ, I hope to God, with all my heart that this is the one gamble that pays off.
Why do it? I have to. I made a vow to love this man unconditionally come what may. It was the easiest promise I have ever made. I didn't realise at the time it would bring the hardest decisions with it. I want what is best for him and if that means him moving out to find his independence and grow as a person then I must fully support that. Is it any different to the husbands who move away to further their careers or improve their financial situations? This is to benefit his personal development which I see as a far greater investment both for him as an individual and us as a family. We are also very much aware of the impact this may have on our boys. We are working together to find a way forward that will be the least disruptive and most gradual for them. We love them all infinitely and I hope they all know that without question.
This is sad. I hope things work out well for your family.
ReplyDeleteKat, I know I'm a stranger to you, but I have fallen "in love" with the honesty of your blog. Being honest with one's self, is always the best course. Continue to analyze the events transpiring, and try to find the element within them that is positive. For example, with hubby (temporarily) gone, you've one less person to pour your energy into... give a little of that back to your kids? I hope you recognize how strong, brilliant, and caring you are. You give plenty of accolades to others, how about giving yourself a few. Stick in there... my heart is with you from overseas.
ReplyDeleteBlimey Kat! Obviously I don't know the ins and outs of this, but I am thinking of you and I really hope that everything works out so that you are happy. x
ReplyDeleteI know it's been a while, months in fact, but if you need me, you know where I am <3 x
ReplyDelete