What word did you choose as your travelling companion in 2013? How is it working for you? Where have the surprises been?
If you didn’t choose a guiding word, what word sums up your year so far? And why?
When I think of words that sum up my year so far, the first one that comes to mind is BATTLE.
It feels like I have spent the majority of this year fighting for things that are important to me. As you know we have been having a seemingly ongoing struggle with Social Services (I will post about that another time). To have to prove myself as a worthy parent is possibly one of the toughest and scariest challenges I have had to face. Not because of the test itself but of the consequences should I fail. The thought of losing my boys paralyses me with fear and I would do anything to prevent that happening.
One of the conditions of keeping my boys is that my husband is no longer allowed in our house. So you could say I have had to choose between my babies and my husband. That is exactly what it has felt like at times too. We both agree that they come first and they are the most important but that doesn't always make it any easier. So while I am fighting my corner to keep my children with me, I am also mourning the loss of my best friend, husband and father to my children. This is an ongoing struggle that we are all involved in and we are trying to make it as easy for each other as we can. At times like these I am hugely thankful that nothing lasts forever. As that means, one day, there will be an end to this torture. One day, I hope we can all be together again
Dear Kat, I am drawn into your writing and your life through the word "battle." You are courageous and I admire you for that.
ReplyDeleteWow, obviously there's more to this but I admire the strength and persistence that comes through in your writing.
ReplyDeleteOh honey, I can totally see how "battle" might feel like THE word.
ReplyDeleteBut I see others emerging: worthy, strength, safety, courage and, loudest of all, LOVE.
xxx
You're a fight alright: hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI feel so humbled. So raw. So heart-broken. This has been... my 2013. Since January 16th. I've been a terrible hostess for August Moon 13 as a direct result of all the strife going on. To be honest, I'm shocked that I was able to collaborate with the beautiful, understanding Kat on this project -- but I'm so glad that we somehow managed to make this magic happen. Thank you again. And stay strong. We will get our sweet men back. We will keep our babies. And my oldest baby will get to come home. We are strong. We will prevail. <3
ReplyDeleteMy descent into hell began September 30, 2011. It was "over" four months later, but it will not be over until.... who knows how far the tendrils will reach?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I discovered you through August Moon 13, Kat. I understand- from my own experiences- how 'battle' must feel like your defining word, but I agree with Kat... love shines through most clearly in your post. My struggles with social services lasted 3 long years and only ended last May. In the beginning, I was afraid too; I believe the authorities use our fear to push their own agendas. Do not let them patronize you or tell you what is best for your family. Seek legal counsel and inform yourself as best you can. Communicate with social services in writing, and keep a paper trail in the event that they mishandle your case as they did ours. Stand up for what you believe is right, and remember that you have the power to turn things around. I'm amazed at the transformation that has occurred in my situation over the last 12 months- and it isn't the result of outside intervention. I hope persistence, courage, and community support will see you through, as it did for me! xo
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