Progress...

I've just realised I haven't written anything for a whole week! I have started several times but I never quite managed to finish it or the timing didn't feel quite right. I am currently waiting for my little beans to fall asleep so now is the perfect time.

Last time I wrote I was finding things extremely hard. My lovely friend Hannah gently pointed out that I wasn't in a very positive place. In the week since she left I have been busy trying to get help for myself and the boys.

I have admitted to all the people we are involved with that I am not coping very well and am feeling quite overwhelmed with everything. I have had a mixture of responces. I saw a Doctor who said I wasn't depressed I had merely suffered a succession of stressful events. I pointed out that the psychiatrist I had seen the previous week thought I may need some help as a result of everything that has been going on. (I was refered to the Mental Health Team after having bad post natal depression with Squish).
This seemed to change her mind and the Doctor said she would contact the psychiatrist for a full report and made me an appointment for a weeks time to review the need for medication.

I have also been to the Doctor about Chaos and his behaviour. He is reminding me more and more of my nephew, at a young age, who has Aspergers. I have to get letters from his new nursery, from our outreach worker at the childrens center and possibly our health visitor. I have only seen her once with Chaos so I'm not sure she could give much information that might help. I'm seeing her on wednesday so I will ask her then.
I realise if he is diagnosed with something it will still be an issue we will have to manage (I'm not keen on medicating him without very good reason) but at least we will have a better idea of the problem and the best way to cope for all of us.

I have spent a lot of time talking with my husband and I'm pleased to say we are sorting things out. We have talked more openly in the last week than we ever have before. I think we are at the point of having nothing to lose and everything to gain. I'm sure some of you will think I' m crazy to take him back and there have been several times this week when I would have agreed with you!
The thing is, once you're in a relationship that involves children the decisions don't just affect you. I'm not saying we are staying together for the kids sake but they have been taken into concideration a great deal.
Things have been much better this last week. Obviously the problems are still there we are just finding new ways of dealing with them.

This week sees me following up all the appointments I made last week. I am hoping to collect together enough information for Chaos to be referred but given most people involved are pretty busy I would think next week would be more realistic.