Handle With Care
Why is it, when you've been through a rough patch and you pick yourself up, there is always a line of people ready to test your resilience to the limit?
Today is a perfect example. After a fair bit of napping over the weekend, I am feeling a bit more human. This morning, I felt able to tackle some of the jobs I have been putworker off until I've felt up to it. I made a mental plan of my day and headed off to drop Chaos at nursery.
Unfortunately, someone else had other ideas. A family member felt it was a good time to voice her huge upset about the way I handled things last year when our problems with social services began. I tried to explain that when your family is ripped apart and everyone is under huge stress, it can be hard to concider everyones feelings. Inevitably, people on the perifery of the situation do not get priority. Keeping your family together does.
Appparently, this was not the desired response so a long explanation of how unreasonable I had been followed. Great. As if the whole traumatic event wasn't bad enough, now I have to appease the disgruntled relative so THEY feel better about the whole thing. (Aww deedums springs to mind!)
Then over lunchtime my husband had a meeting with the social worker (yes, the whole thing is still going on and we are on our 4th social worker now!). Apparently, he is not seen as a risk to the children which is great!
She said there are concerns over my recent meeting with the psychiatrist and the mental health team. She told my husband that the case might be increased to a child protection case due to the psychiatrist saying I'm at high risk of post natal psychosis. Bloody great! So much for closing the case then. Now they want to keep it open until christmas to make sure the baby is ok.
I am now getting a taste of how my husband felt being called a risk to his children as now I'm in the same boat. If that hasn't upped the pressure I don't know what will. Stress is the last thing anyone with a mental health issue needs so why add pressure when things are hard enough already?!
What a shitty day. Just when I thought we were getting somewhere you get a good hard shove to push you back. I know I shouldn't be so negative about it but I feel like curling up in a ball under my duvet and crying. Some days it's all just too much, especially without chocolate!