As regular readers will know I am currently 30 weeks pregnant. We are having massive behaviour problems with Chaos and Squish isn't sleeping very well. Combine that with a house that needs lots of work before the baby arrives and you have one stressed Mumma!
My other problem is I am starting to struggle with anxiety and depression again...
I go to see a Dr every week so she can assess my mood and whether things are getting worse. I have been going for 4 weeks now. Today she did one of those questionnaires they use to determine how low my mood is. Basically if I wasn't pregnant, she would have given me the drugs a couple of weeks ago. She said we would see how I am next week then decide about a prescription.
I had an assessment with a psychiatrist last month as I have a history of severe PND. She recommended I be given Fluoxetine if I needed to take antidepressants before the baby is born. I asked the Dr what risks there were for the baby. She said there was a very small chance of her developing a heart defect.
Having got home I thought I would have a look on the NHS site about side effects. Basically, Fluoxetine is another name for Prozac. It is worse to start taking them in the later stages of pregnancy. The baby may develop withdrawal symptoms once she is born. In short, don't take them unless the benefits outweigh the risks.
How do you make that judgement? I am already teetering on the edge of sanity. I am finding the boys too much most days, both physically and mentally. I can't do much with them as I have SPD and sciatica. My scars are very painful too. I can't carry them or lift things for them. If they run off I can't catch them so I don't go out with them unless I'm going somewhere indoors. They are playing up more as they know I can't do much about it. All this is really getting me down.
On the other hand, how would I live with myself if there was anything wrong with the baby? I keep thinking it's only another 8 weeks but what will happen in that 8 weeks? Are my needs more important than hers? At what point does that become obvious? I suppose if I am still questioning it I can put it off a bit longer. My husband has said he would rather not chance it and I'm inclined to agree but at the same time I don't know how much longer I can cope with all this.