Breaking Point, Chaos and Other Behavioural Problems

I can honestly say I didn't think I would be writing another post like this again. I really don't know how it happened. Im lying on my bed next to my sleeping princess and fidgety Squish. My eyes feel sore and swollen from crying. My head is gently thumping whilst feeling squeezed at the temples. I feel utterly shattered. The kind of shattered and dazed you feel after being awake for several days but have no idea which days they were.

I'm not really sure what happened to make today any different really. I suppose things have just been building up and today, it just tipped over the edge.

I had been to drop off some candles to a friend. I had told her I wouldn't stop as I had the boys with me. I wasn't talking for more than a couple of minutes before the boys had let themselves out of their car seats and were playing with the stones on her driveway. As I apologised, one of them threw stones at her car. I was mortified!
I put them back in the car and checked hers for damages. Then they started jumping about in the car, beeping the horn and playing the radio, laughing like hyenas. Putting them back in their seats, we left.

I had some candles for Mum so headed to her house next. I told the boys I wasn't stopping so they should wait in the car. I literally walked in, gave her the candles and said I couldn't stop as the boys were in the car. Again,  just as I was saying goodbye to Mum they came bouncing round the corner. This time I lost it and really shouted at them. I have no idea what I said but they were both very quiet. They fell asleep on the way home.

Meanwhile, I just cried.

And cried.

And cried.

Why can't I control them better? I just want to take them out and do fun stuff with them and see people but they just fuck about the whole time. Individually, they are fine and behave normally. Together they are hell on earth.
Chaos encourages Squish to do alsorts that he wouldn't normally do. Then he's horrible if Squish doesn't do what he says.

This situation is really getting to me now. I have tried talking to him, rewarding good behaviour, taking things away for bad behaviour, hes been to the paediatricians for an autism assessment, hes had a speech and language assessment, hearing tests, bowan therapy, Kinesiology and been on a wheat free diet. I have done a four month parenting course and spoken to numerous teachers and childcare professionals, including social services. No help. No advice. Nothing.

It is so extremely hard watching one of your children constantly bully and pick on the others. It has been so bad our outreach worker and I shut ourselves in the kitchen to protect ourselves yet still I keep being told hes a normal 4year old. I'm sorry but thats NOT normal!

I have been to the drs today and had my meds increased as I cant cope with the stress it's causing. I have also got some shampoo as my hair has started falling out in patches.

My friend said "How bad does it have to get before something gets done?"

I really hope it is soon as I am at breaking point...

Any advice would be appreciated, greatly!