2 Whole Weeks.....

Somehow, I managed to crawl through the rest of the day yesterday. I don't know how exactly but I did it. I had forgotten I had arranged another session of the Metamorphic Technique with my therapist friend for that evening. It was perfect timing, as I really needed it and it's always lovely to see her.

I felt quite odd driving to her house. I think it was because I usually stay at home when I don't feel right. I'm trying to make myself go out if I have arranged something rather than hiding away. I got to her house and I could hear myself saying things that I wouldn't normally say. Nothing bad, just words I wouldn't normally use. I decided to shut up and ask her questions instead so I wouldn't say something totally stupid!

I felt more relaxed after a cuppa so we headed off to the therapy room and swapped feet! I'm not sure why but I couldn't relax as much as I normally do but I felt much better afterwards. We had another cuppa and I headed home feeling almost normal for a change. If I'm going to feel good, it always seems to be at the end of the day rather than at the beginning. Why is that?? Why can't I start a day feeling good and slowly deteriorate? At least that way I could go out and do normal stuff in the morning then retreat to the safety of the house in the afternoon. Would make more sense than feeling like that at bed time... What a waste!!

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Today has been pretty good, having said all that! We were up and ready to go out with the dog by 9.30am!! My Dad sent me a text to say he was getting the bus over to see me so I arranged to meet him along the track behind the house. It was a really nice walk. The dog behaved herself near the horses, Chaos didn't moan (until we were coming home), the weather was good and there was no traffic. Lovely! We were out for nearly 2 hours so must have walked a couple of miles I think.

Chaos went to bed when we got home so I spent a couple of hours chatting with Dad about all sorts which was  nice. I had forgotten what it's like to have a conversation that isn't punctuated by "put that down" or "leave it alone" . It made me realise I have developed a short attention span. It was quite difficult to concentrate at times. Not through boredom, just lack of practice.

The Dr rang today as I had asked for an appointment but they only had phone consultations left. He said that  it was quite normal to experience a recurrence of anxiety and other symptoms after only taking the anti depressants for 2 weeks. He said they usually start to work after 4-6 weeks so I should keep taking them until this time and he will see me for a review then. He did say if I have any other concerns or questions in the men time I should just go and see him or arrange another call. I feel a bit better that it is a common thing but I also feel a little apprehensive that it may take up to another month before they really start to work. What do I do if I'm having a really bad day? I should stop right there before I wind myself up!!

It's been quite a tiring day with our long walk earlier so I might head off to bed now.
Hope you're all keeping out of the shadows....