Monday.... Day 19

Yawn.... I thought I would write this in the evening so I could tell you about the whole day but now I'm thinking it may not have been such a great idea. I just want to sleep and it's not even 8.30pm!! I feel pathetic that I get so tired but in the evenings I really just can't keep my eyes open. Today is a bit different though...

Today I have been really productive so I have a reason for being tired, for a change! I won't bore you with a list of all my household triumphs but there are quite a few. It has been really sunny and quite warm out so I managed to get the washing out on the line. It always makes me feel summery if the washing is on the line.
The highlight of today was being in the garden with Chaos after his sleep. The weather has always been awful and I haven't felt up to going out there with him before. To start with he just stood on the grass for a few minutes, not sure of what to do, then he slowly started tottering round having a look at everything. I think he enjoyed the freedom of going where ever he liked. He found the mop bucket in the out house and started to fill it with stones from the borders. He thought it was great. If the weather is good I'll take him out there again tomorrow.

I always feel better being outside. I'm really looking forward to getting the garden sorted so the boys can all play out there in the summer. I was putting the washing out earlier and I suddenly realized I felt really peaceful. I wasn't anxious about anything. I wasn't rushing to get on with the next job or worrying about anything. I can't remember the last time I felt like that. It was great!
I also noticed that I wasn't dreading the day. Ok I was really tired when I got up but there were things I wanted to get on with. Usually I feel like the day is so long I don't know how I'll survive it alone. I hope I have more days like today. I didn't remember to take my pills til lunchtime and I wonder if it is because I'm not constantly thinking about how shit I feel anymore. That has to be a good thing.

Off to bed now before I fall asleep typing!