Weird Wednesday.... Day 33

Ugh... Again?! Here we go. Sweats, shakes, moody, irritable, tired, miserable, short tempered. Any of this sounding familiar?? Yep, square 0.. Not even as good as square 1. I can't believe it. I feel like I'm going backwards not forwards. I shouldn't still be feeling this bad after 5 weeks of pills surely?

I rang the Dr this morning even though I kept being told to leave it a bit longer. I went to see him and he agreed with me. He said I had given them a good go and I shouldn't be feeling worse at this stage. He asked how I felt about increasing the dose. I don't mind really. They did really help initially other than making me feel drowsy. I took that to mean I'm on the right track. I have to take an extra 10mg a day. The maximum amount is 40mg so I hope this works! I don't want to be one of those who ends up having shock treatment! That would be a complete nightmare (it's ok I realise that is a last resort so don't go panicking if you're in my position either!). He said I shouldn't have any side effects by increasing the dose as I'm already used to them, although it would take a couple of weeks for them to start making a noticeable difference. I will start them tomorrow. Just thought, do you think that should be day 1 again as it's a new dose? (lol) I must be feeling bad today. My jelly addiction has hit back with a vengeance. I got 3 packets on the way home but appear to have lost 2 packets. Must have dropped them or something.....

In other news...

My little Squish had his third lot of jabs today. He cried so much, love him. Poor little mite. He so rarely cries it's awful when he does. I hate it, especially if it's my fault! When we sat down he was shaking quite a lot. The nurse was a bit concerned and said to get a video of it to show the Dr if he does it again. She didn't think it was much to worry about as he was smiling and looking at her but "it wasn't something she would expect to see". I hope there is nothing wrong with my little Squish! (must....not.....PANIC!!!!!!) I'm sure he will be fine. 

I also went to see a friend I haven't seen in about a month. She is wonderful and her boys are the same age as mine. Chaos was on top form! He smashed some of her crockery, moved her demi johns and disturbed the wine/beer for her wedding! Ran round opening all the cupboards, kept trying to get on the dining table and wailing most of the time. He was a typical brat child and I was mortified by his behaviour! I don't feel happy taking him out as he is such a nightmare but I realise he won't get any better unless he gets used t going out. Maybe I should commit to going out at least once a week with him. I just don't feel up to it a lot of the time. Squish is also starting to realise when he has been left on his own in a room and shouts his head off until I come back. This means it is very difficult to chase off after Chaos if Squish is screaming at me too. 

It's enough to drive anyone insane, I'm sure!!!

Double Trouble!
Squish and Chaos

I had better go as Chaos is definitely not going to sleep and Squish is starting to moan a bit. My gorgeous hubby is on his way home so happy days!! I'm really looking forward to having 4 whole days with him over Easter YaY!!

Eat a (chocolate) egg a day. It helps dispel shadows. Increase dose if required! x