The conversation came up after we bumped into someone in town. This person is married yet is known to have "text sex" with other people. I have heard of several other married men and women doing the same sort of thing. It made me wonder, as this seems such a common occurrence, if this is now classed as acceptable? I don't know if their partners are aware of it or if it is an agreement between them.
People have tried to justify it to me by saying they are not actually doing anything. That it is no different to watching porn or ringing a sex line. I can see the point they are getting at but generally speaking you wouldn't know the person in the porn film or on the sex line. Surely it makes a difference if you know the person you're communicating with?
Luckily, my husband and I both feel the same. I would feel cheated if he was talking to someone like that and so would he. Personally, I have made my choice and I stand wholeheartedly by that. Ever since meeting my husband nobody else has come close to sparking my interest (not that I have been looking!). I know that I will never feel the same way about anyone else. He is my one and only. I realise how lucky I am. Not everyone finds someone they feel that strongly about but if you do you wouldn't ever want to lose it.
For some people I realise sex is just an act and has nothing to do with love or intimacy. Their actions are justified by saying they weren't in love, it was just an act, a one off. That is where I differ. I can't understand how you can have one without the other. To me, anything you hide from your partner, knowing full well they will be upset by your actions, is deceitful.
Please don't get me wrong. I am by no means judging the actions of others. As long as both partners are fully aware of the situation and are happy, that's grand. Maybe this makes me old fashioned, I don't know. If it does then I am so grateful to have an old fashioned husband too!
I'm in agreement with you on this too. Ultimately it’s lying and that is wrong. In the U.S. there is an old Texas football saying that goes, “Dance with the one that brung you.” Roughly translated it means, go with the play that wins, or why screw with what’s working. Obviously if they think they need to change the play, something’s wrong, but clearly they’re focusing their energy on the thing that is not a winning play.
ReplyDeleteI would hope it doesn't make you old fashioned! I don't think I could ever cheat on some one, or take part in 'text sex' with another person and nor could I be with someone who believed it wasn't wrong. I'd want the person who is the only one for me, to also believe that I'm the only one for them! Seems so strange for it to be any other way!
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