" I am willing to let go"

I was wondering what I should do this evening to occupy my idle mind. Wandering around the net, I found a daily affirmation by Louise Hay. She is a successful author of self help and self healing guides. I have read some of her books and they are very thought provoking and helpful. I thought I would have a look at her website and see what todays affirmation was.

" I am willing to let go"

Now, could that be any more appropriate?! I don't mean in the obvious way either. Let me explain.

Over the past few days I have been feeling an increasing amount of pressure building, seemingly by the minute. It got to the point where I couldn't stay here a moment longer. I left my sleeping babies with their father and caught the train to my parents house. I had a thumping headache, eye strain and worsening nausea. I kept feeling dizzy and breathless. It was awful.

The situation with my husband was frustrating me and there was nothing I could do about it. He wasn't doing anything to help the situation and I had come to the end of what I could do for him. It is really tough hating the situation you're in but you are effectively powerless to change it for the better.

I spent the evening Shootin the breeze with my Pa before curling up in my oh so comfortable little bed. (That is THE best bed EVER!) I rang work in the morning to say I wouldn't be in. (Having been ill during the night I can't work in a food environment.) I spent the day trying to relax and keep my mind off things. I spent a few lovely hours with my nephew, his girlfriend and their gorgeous baby. He is adorable! Perfect therapy.

All was well until my husband came to collect me. On the journey home my stomach started churning again and I really didn't feel well. I realised then that this situation can not go on for much longer. It is affecting my health and I can't afford for that to happen.
I am covering the Deli at work while my friend is on holiday. I have worked on there before but it is a bit different being totally responsible for it for the week AND bank holiday weekend! I have been quite stressed over that as well. It has also occurred to me that for this week I am totally reliant on my husband for childcare. With things the way they are, this makes me more than a little nervous.

Having covered my first day on the Deli and not having any major problems, I feel a lot more relaxed about it all. I have decided to just "let go" of all my anxieties and go with the flow a bit more. I can't make my husband do anything. If he doesn't see finding somewhere to live as important, who am I to correct him. I can only do my best at work and that is all that is expected of me. That is a win-win situation as my best is all I have!

I am off to sample a little Ben & Jerrys as I can't quite remember if I liked it last time. I may also watch a little telly before bed. I feel quite relaxed and that is possibly related to my husband being at work tonight....