How Much Do You Value Reliable Friends?

What makes a good friend? Have you ever wondered what kind of a friend you are? Do you have high expectations of people in your life or do you rely mainly on family for help and support? I saw a friend unexpectedly earlier and the meeting has had me thinking about our relationship and what it means to me.

I was picking up my son from school and bumped into my friend. We started the same school when we were 7 and have been friends ever since. The sort of friends where time between visits doesn't matter. First shopping trips, first boyfriends, jobs and babies. The gaps between catchups got longer but it never seemed to matter.

She works full time so it was a pleasant surprise to see her. Her daughter was excited too. I asked how she was getting on and how her family was. We told each other how the children had settled so far, as they are in parallel classes. Then she asked how I was. She must have known something was up from the way she looked at me. I said I had to go for a brain scan as they thought I might have the same as Mum. She looked a bit startled and asked if I'd been having symptoms. Her daughter was pullingh er to leave and my son's class started coming out so I asked if she was free for a coffee. She said she had to go to the post office before getting her son at 3pm but said she would be in touch. I said I'd look forward to it and dashed off to the classroom.

I didn't think much of it at the time, knowing how busy she is. Then I thought about what I'd just told her. Not really everyday news, was it? If I was in her shoes I'd be straight round with a bit of cake to find out how I could help. 

Is it fair of me to put my values of friendship on to her though? I feel a bit on my own so I'm sure I wouldn't normally have reacted this way. It's hard to find someone to talk to who isn't going to worry. I've talked to my Mum about it because, well, she's my Mum but she's also been through it too so she understands. At the same time, I don't want to rely on her as she is currently having chemo and I don't want to stress her out. My husband doesn't like talking about it and would rather wait to see what we're dealing with, which is understandable too. Maybe I should call the Samaritans so I can selfishly splurge all my feelings without worrying about how the other person is or if I'm saying anything upsetting.  

As for my friend, she is a different kind of busy to me and I can't blame her for that, can I?!