Friday, 22 May 2015

Dear So and So

Dear So and So at Mummy from the Heart

I am joining this link hosted by the lovely Michelle from Mummy From the Heart. Sometimes there are things you want to say that can't be expressed any other way.


Saturday, 9 May 2015

What Shall I Do?!

I find myself in a very new and slightly stressful situation. I'm not sure if any of you have been in this situation before but I'd really love to know how you handled it. I'm sure most of you know that my husband left last year and I have been coping with the kids on my own, mostly. Well, due to their Dad now having his own place the boys are now able to go and stay there. This weekend, that is exactly what they are doing.

Friday, 8 May 2015

I Do Love A List!

I stumbled across this listy linky this morning on Twitter. It is hosted by You Baby Me Mummy and Mums Days. Both blogs I haven't read before - bonus! Now, I don't know about you but I haven't met a Mum who doesn't love a good list! How could anyone resist a linky like that eh?! The only problem I can forsee is trying to pick just one list to post each week.

The idea is to link up a post that is either a list or a one that is mainly bullet points.

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Suspended

Life is a funny old thing. Everything seems to be ticking along, days develope a pattern and things become almost predictable. Then for some unknown reason, it all goes up in the air. For a while you're left reeling, disorientated, freefalling. You know you're going to land but you're not sure what life will look like when you do.

Monday, 4 May 2015

Enjoy The Sunshine...

Sometimes, things happen that make you stop and think. Make you stop and take stock of everything. Unfortunately, it seems to be an unhappy event that makes us do this.
Today is one of those days. Today I'm taking stock. I'm realising all the things I am blessed with and being grateful...

Saturday, 25 April 2015

Return of the Kat

Hiya! I can't believe how long it's been since I blogged! So much has happened, I don't really know where to start. I just read though my post about plans for the year. Its the end of April and I feel I have done so much. I will try to recap to get up to date..

After my last post I went to stay with a lovely friend in rural Shropshire. It was my first trip away with all three little ones on my own. Apart from the services being quite challenging, I think the trip went quite well. My friends endless patience and understanding had a large part to do with that, I must admit.

I joined a pole dancing class once a week and loved it! I'm as sexy and graceful as a hippo but it was great fun and hard work. After my first class I still ached the following week! I completed five weeks before going away for 2 weeks so I shall have to go back to reregister.

My Dad came round and helped me dig holes and put up 4 panels of the 6ft fencing. I had previously painted them so they were ready to go. It was so good watching the start of my fencing going up. I think I'm going to need another 7 panels yet but it will be great when its finished!

The first week of March was quite scary. Since having my little girl I've been having chronic stomach pain every month. This particular month was much worse than any other and I was taken to hospital by ambulance. After several hours they decided to discharge me with period pain... The nurse didn't agree with them either but they needed the bed so asked if i could go and wait for a lift in the waiting area. Charming!
I went to see the Dr and was sent for several scans and blood tests all of which were clear. It seems much better now so who knows what it was.

For the Easter half term I was extremely lucky to take a trip to New Zealand for two weeks! I went to visit an old school friend and her family. The boys stayed with their Dad and my little girl came with me. It was an amazing trip that has awakened my wonderlust so I am looking forward to my next trip! I will share the details of my trip in another post or two.

Since coming back, I have struggled with fitting back into a daily pattern.  I am still finding it hard if I'm honest. More on that later too I expect. I am hoping to blog more often too. I have so many things to write and share that I dont know where to start. Bear with me lovely folk,  I shall share it with you as soon as I can.



Thursday, 12 February 2015

Being An Empath

I found this information on a Facebook post and it really explains what its like being an empath so well I almost felt sorry for myself! I wish I could give this out to all the people who dont understand me and why I am the way I am. I can't help it. It is a blessing and I see it as a gift but it is also very draining also.

May I apologise now if copying the information upsets anyone. I am not passing this off as my own work.  It was written by Christel Broederlow and the link to the original post is above. It is explained here in a far better way than I could possibly manage so I wanted to share it with you.


Being an Empath By Christel Broederlow

 Being an empath is when you are affected by other people’s energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others.  Your life is unconsciously influenced by others’ desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods.  Being an empath is much more than being highly sensitive and it’s not just limited to emotions.  Empaths can perceive physical sensitivities and spiritual urges, as well as just knowing the motivations and intentions of other people.  You either are an empath or you aren’t.  It’s not a trait that is learned.  You are always open, so to speak, to process other people’s feelings and energy, which means that you really feel, and in many cases take on the emotions of others.  Many empaths experience things like chronic fatigue, environmental sensitivities, or unexplained aches and pains daily.  These are all things that are more likely to be contributed to outside influences and not so much yourself at all.  Essentially you are walking around in this world with all of the accumulated karma, emotions, and energy from others.

Empaths are often quiet achievers. They can take a while to handle a compliment for they’re more inclined to point out another’s positive attributes. They are highly expressive in all areas of emotional connection, and talk openly, and, at times quite frankly. They may have few problems talking about their feelings if another cares to listen (regardless of how much they listen to others).

However, they can be the exact opposite: reclusive and apparently unresponsive at the best of times. They may even appear ignorant. Some are very good at “blocking out” others and that’s not always a bad thing, at least for the learning empath struggling with a barrage of emotions from others, as well as their own feelings.

Empaths have a tendency to openly feel what is outside of them more so than what is inside of them. This can cause empaths to ignore their own needs. In general an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates an uncomfortable feeling in an empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a confrontation, they will endeavor to settle the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together. If any harsh words are expressed in defending themselves, they will likely resent their lack of self-control, and have a preference to peacefully resolve the problem quickly.

Empaths are more inclined to pick up another’s feelings and project it back without realizing its origin in the first place. Talking things out is a major factor in releasing emotions in the learning empath. Empaths can develop an even stronger degree of understanding so that they can find peace in most situations. The downside is that empaths may bottle up emotions and build barriers sky-high so as to not let others know of their innermost thoughts and/or feelings. This withholding of emotional expression can be a direct result of a traumatic experience, an expressionless upbringing, or simply being told as a child, “Children are meant to be seen and not heard!

Without a doubt, this emotional withholding can be detrimental to one’s health, for the longer one’s thoughts and/or emotions aren’t released, the more power they build. The thoughts and/or emotions can eventually becoming explosive, if not crippling. The need to express oneself honestly is a form of healing and a choice open to all. To not do so can result in a breakdown of the person and result in mental/emotional instability or the creation of a physical ailment, illness or disease.

Empaths are sensitive to TV, videos, movies, news and broadcasts. Violence or emotional dramas depicting shocking scenes of physical or emotional pain inflicted on adults, children or animals can bring an empath easily to tears. At times, they may feel physically ill or choke back the tears. Some empaths will struggle to comprehend any such cruelty, and may have grave difficulty in expressing themselves in the face of another’s ignorance, closed-mindedness and obvious lack of compassion. They simply cannot justify the suffering they feel and see.

You will find empaths working with people, animals or nature with a true passion and dedication to help them. They are often tireless teachers and/or caretakers for our environment and all within it. Many volunteers are empathic and give up personal time to help others without pay and/or recognition.

Empaths may be excellent storytellers due to an endless imagination, inquisitive minds and ever-expanding knowledge. They can be old romantics at heart and very gentle. They may also be the “keepers” of ancestral knowledge and family history. If not the obvious family historians, they may be the ones who listen to the stories passed down and possess the majority of the family history. Not surprisingly, they may have started or possess a family tree.

They have a broad interest in music to suit their many expressive temperaments, and others can query how empaths can listen to one style of music, and within minutes, change to something entirely different. Lyrics within a song can have adverse, powerful effects on empaths, especially if it is relevant to a recent experience. In these moments, it is advisable for empaths to listen to music without lyrics, to avoid playing havoc with their emotions!

They are just as expressive with body language as with words, thoughts, and feelings. Their creativity is often expressed through dance, acting, and bodily movements. Empaths can project an incredible amount of energy portraying and/or releasing emotion. Empaths can become lost in the music, to the point of being in a trance-like state; they become one with the music through the expression of their physical bodies. They describe this feeling as a time when all else around them is almost non-existent.

People of all walks of life and animals are attracted to the warmth and genuine compassion of empaths. Regardless of whether others are aware of one being empathic, people are drawn to them as a metal object is to a magnet!

Even complete strangers find it easy to talk to empaths about the most personal things, and before they know it, they have poured out their hearts and souls without intending to do so consciously. It is as though on a sub-conscious level that person knows instinctively that empaths would listen with compassionate understanding. Then again, for empaths, it is always nice to actually be heard themselves!

Here are the listeners of life. They can be outgoing, bubbly, enthusiastic and a joy to be in the presence of, as well as highly humorous at the most unusual moments! On the flip side, empaths can be weighted with mood swings that will have others around them want to jump overboard and abandon ship! The thoughts and feelings empaths receive from any and all in their life can be so overwhelming (if not understood) that their moods can fluctuate with lightning speed. One moment they may be delightfully happy and with a flick of the switch, miserable.

Abandoning an empath in the throes of alternating moods can create detrimental effects. A simple return of empathic love–listening and caring compassionately without bias, judgment and/or condemnation–can go an incredibly long way to an empath’s instant recovery. Many empaths don’t understand what is occurring within them. They literally have no idea that another person’s emotions are now felt, as one’s own and reflected outwardly. They are confused as to how one moment all was well, and then the next, they feel so depressed, alone, etc. The need to understand the possibilities of empath connection is a vital part of the empaths journey for themselves and for those around them.

Empaths are often problem solvers, thinkers, and studiers of many things. As far as empaths are concerned, where a problem is, so too is the answer. They often will search until they find one – if only for peace of mind. This can certainly prove beneficial for others in their relationships, in the workplace, or on the home front. Where there is a will, there is a way and the empath will find it. The empath can literally (likely without the knowledge of what’s actually occurring) tap into Universal Knowledge and be receptive to guidance in solving anything they put their head and hearts into.

Empaths often are vivid and/or lucid dreamers. They can dream in detail and are inquisitive of dream content. Often they feel as though the dreams are linked to their physical life somehow, and not just a mumble of nonsensical, irrelevant, meaningless images. This curiosity will lead many empathic dreamers to unravel some of the “mysterious” dream contents from an early age and connect the interpretation to its relevance in their physical life. If not, they may be led to dream interpretations through other means.

Empaths are daydreamers with difficulty keeping focused on the mundane. If life isn’t stimulating, off an empath will go into a detached state of mind. They will go somewhere, anywhere, in a thought that appears detached from the physical reality, yet is alive and active for they really are off and away. If a tutor is lecturing with little to no emotional input, empaths will not be receptive to such teaching and can (unintentionally) drift into a state of daydreaming.

Give the empath student the tutor who speaks with stimuli and emotion (through actual experience of any given subject) and the empath is receptively alert. Empaths are a captivated audience. This same principle applies in acting. An actor will either captivate the audience through expressing (in all aspects) emotions (as though they really did experience the role they are portraying) or will loose them entirely. Empaths make outstanding actors.

Empaths frequently experience déjà vu and synchronicities. What may initially start as, “Oh, what a coincidence”, will lead to the understanding of synchronicities as an aspect of who they are. These synchronicities will become a welcomed and continually expanding occurrence. As an understanding of self grows, the synchronicities become more fluent and free flowing. The synchronicities can promote a feeling of euphoria as empaths identify with them and appreciate the connection to their empathic nature.

Empaths are most likely to have had varying paranormal experiences throughout their lives. NDE’s (Near death experiences) and or OBE’s (Out of body experiences) can catapult an unaware empath into the awakening period and provide the momentum for a journey of discovery. Those who get caught up in life, in society’s often dictating ways, in work etc., can become lost in a mechanical way of living that provides very little meaning. All “signs of guidance” are ignored to shift out of this state of “doing”. A path to being whole again becomes evident and a search for more meaning in one’s life begins.

These types of experiences appear dramatic, can be life-altering indeed, and are most assuredly just as intensely memorable in years to come. They are the voice of guidance encouraging us to pursue our journey in awareness. Sometimes, some of us require that extra assistance!

For some empaths, the lack of outside understanding towards paranormal events they experience, may lead to suppressing such abilities. (Most of these abilities are very natural and not a coincidence.) Empaths may unknowingly adopt the positive or negative attitude of others as their own. (This, however, can be overcome.) Empaths may need to follow interests in the paranormal and the unexplained with curiosity so as to explain and accept their life circumstances.

Broken Wings

I'm not feeling too great today. I can't quite put my finger on what is wrong either. I'm tired and achy. My eyes are itchy.  Its 11:30pm and I've just had tea. I feel quite low and emotional. I have no idea what has triggered it but I really hope it passes by tomorrow. I don't want to cope with another day like this.

I have so many things on the go at the moment. Quietly, I dont think I take much more. I think I am exhausted.

Having fallen asleep writing this last night, I feel a bit clearer on what the problem is today.

I am exhausted, emotionally drained and slightly overwhelmed by what the future holds.
Sad that my marriage is over and I have lost my best friend. Frustrated at not being able to get on with all my plans at the pace I want to.
Disappointed at the state my house is in.
Annoyed at not having the patience to deal with the kids instead of shouting and getting cross.
Fed up of having to drag myself out of bed instead of looking forward to the day.
Preferring nursery days to having the boys home.
Feeling lonely but not wanting company. Missing the comfortable silence of living with someone.
Wanting to sit a d eat haribo all damn day (or until I'm sick!)

I know this feeling will pass and I'll be back to my bouncy old self again soon so for now I'm just going to sit with it and do whatever I fancy that day and try not to feel guilty about it!

One day I shall fly again... 

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

A Weekend With Ross Bartlett

I was lucky enough to spend the last weekend on a Mediumship Development course with the wonderful Ross Bartlett. I went on the course last year with my sister but since then I have moved house, had a baby and separated from my husband. I don't think I could have fit in training as well!

The first day was mostly theory. We covered the different ways of receiving information.

Clairvoyance - Seeing images, colours, words.
Clairsentience - Feeling things such as pain, pressure, emotions.
Clairaudience - Hearing words or sounds. Sounds can be projected outside the body or can come as thoughts in your head with no voice.
Clairgustance - Is tasting something
Clairolfactory - Is smelling something

I recieve information Clairvoyantly and a little Clairaudiantly but mainly Clairsentiently. Meaning most of the information I receive as a feeling. I am quite an emotional person so I feel a lot this way. A happy person makes me want to smile and laugh while a sad situation may make me cry (and has a couple of times).
It could be something physical, like a tightening in my chest could be a heart problem or an ache in my body could mean a significant problem with the person.
Occasionally, words pop into my head. It could be a persons name, a colour or a place. Even less often, I hear things. Its like somebody whispering in my ear bu t I don't always catch it. That is probably why it isn't a preferred way to communicate with me!

The less information that is being processed by the brain, the easier it is for spirit to communicate. This is why a lot of people have visions or hear things as they are going to sleep. The conscious brain is slowing down for the night, the lights are off and your eyes are closed so there is very little stimulation.
Equally, how grounded you are will have an opposite effect. Imagine trying to listen to someone whispering to you at a club. You couldn't do it, you wouldn't hear a thing!

The key is meditation. Being able to focus the mind and concentrate solely on one thing is vital. The better you become at this, the clearer you will be able to recieve information.
Obviously, I'm not very good at concentrating (hence the fact it has taken me several days to write this post!) so I need to practice some of the meditations we did so I can improve my ability to focus.

We did a couple of readings over the weekend using different objects. Firstly we used flowers. It is amazing how much you can pick up.

 I managed to pick up several details from my partner and the flower he chose. I don't want to divulge anything too personal so I won't go into detail. I did identify members of the family and illnesses that they had. His previous He said my reading was spot on. Coming from someone who has been in the business for 20 years, I took that as a massive compliment. He was even kind enough to pose for a photo with his flower.

My flower
Later, we did a reading from a tarot card. I found this reading slightly harder although I'm not sure why. I still identified several events that had happened in the lady's life. The problem was that I stuggled to get more information after I had shared the initial points I picked up on.

The final reading was the most amazing for me. We had to choose a piece of ribbon from a pile for our partners to read. I chose a lovely soft golden piece. My partner had recently lost someone very close and had come to the course in the hope someone would get a message for her from them. I started describing a relatives personality and a name popped into my head which was significant. I found it difficult to get any further information so I asked Ross for some help. He talked me through a process he used in the previous course I did with him. To imagine myself surrounded by light and see what energy is there. This worked perfectly and I was able to give this lady a much wanted and needed message from her loved one. I won't share the message but I was able to see a silhouette of two people. From that I could describe the stature of both people. When I thought about their personality, I was able to describe them from the way they made me feel emotionally.

I found it truly humbling to be able to give someone a message that obviously meant so much. It can also be a healing experience too. Reading is a very emotional experience for me, as most of what I pass on is picked up through my emotions. This can be quite physically draining as well.

At the end of the course Ross suggested I practice meditation as this will improve my focus. He also suggested I start doing readings for other people (Eeeeek!) I will definitely start meditating more often, not just for the benefits of doing readings. Meditating has several health benefits too so its a win:win for me! I had an amazing weekend that just served to remind me how amazing it is to be able to contact spirit.

Me with Ross Bartlett 


Tuesday, 3 February 2015

Festival of Lights at Longleat

At the start of January I took my kids and parents to longleat to see the amazing Festival of Lights. Lord Bath employed 40 chinese people to put together the amazing display. He also employed another 20 to do live displays. It took over 6 months to build the whole display. It is utterly worth all that effort as it is a breathtaking display. 
I got a programme as a keepsake and stupidly didn't have a look at it until we were almost ready to go. I realised there was a bit of information on the history behind each of the lights. Although I don't have photos of all the lights, I will share the information with the photos I do have. 

The first is The China Gate. 

Gates like this were used to mark the entrance to temples, mausoleums and towns. This gate is inspired by one in Beijing with glazed tiles and varved beams.



This is the Porcelain Dragon 

In China, the dragon is a noble creature. It is powerful, decisive, intelligent and a good omen. This one is 70 meters long and made up of more than 15,000 pieces of porcelain tied together by hand. Including plates, bowls, egg cups and spoons. 

The Mushroom Garden 

China is the world's largest producer of edible mushrooms. Mushrooms were used to dye wool and textiles, long ago. Certain types are used by traditional Chinese herbalists for healing while others are used for their hallucinogenic effects during rituals and other occurances. 


The Temple of Heaven

The original Temple of Heaven is a series of buildings in central Beijing, which were built about 600 years ago. The Emperor would pray for good harvest.
This Temple is a third of the size of the original but at 20 meters high it is still an impressive sight.


Blessing of the Qilin

Qilin (pronounced chee-lin) are harmless, mythical creatures. They are the highest ranking of the four Chinese spirits. They have the head of a dragon and the body of a tiger or deer. 
The four Qilin are presenting a giant pearl as a blessing.



These are different to the other lanterns in the display. They are made up of 65,000 small medicine bottles filled with coloured water and tied together to create the shapes. 
They are by far my favourite of all the lanterns. 


A Pagent of Peonies

Peonies are the national flower of China and represent prosperity and nobility. These beauties line the pathway behind Longleat house.


The Animal Zone 

Walking along the side of the lake, we were surrounded by 200 animals both on land and in the lake. I loved the lions poised in front of the house on a miniature pride rock! 

The animals were all made by stretching silk over a wire frame and hand painting each face for individuality. 




I took a video of all the animals which you can view here. I hope it gives you a feel for how impressive the display reall was. It is understandable that it took 6 months to put it all together. I will definitely be going again next year asit is definitely worth every penny!

Monday, 2 February 2015

A New Week

I have been doing a lot of thinking since my post yesterday. Things have started to get on top of me and that is a dodgy old road to wander down. I have decided that I need to kick myself in the pants and make a plan. What better day to start than Monday?!

Although today is getting off to a slow start, I want to make more effort today.

I have decided to focus on one room at a time. Today will be the bathroom as it is quite gruesome. I wont go into detail but I'm sure you can imagine.

I am going to do one load of washing at a time. I don't mean just wash it but drying it and putting it away too. I seem to have washing every where and it is something I really hate!

I am also going to try to eat three times a day. To start with I'm not fussed exactly what, I just want to get into the habit first. Even if it is a sandwich at lunch, I need to train myself to be hungry again and to feed myself when I do feel hungry.  Im sure I'm setting a bad example for my boys too.

I also want to spend time with the kids every day which is why I'm not throwing myself into a massive cleaning binge. I want to make small changes i can maintain on a daily basis.

On that note, we better get dressed and head off to nursery with my baby boy.  Hope you have a great day too!

Sunday, 1 February 2015

The Manager

You know when you greet people and ask how they are? That's just something we do to be polite, isn't it? It's not often you actually want to know the full details of how that person is getting on. That involves a coffee and catch up (with cake) at the very least!

This is something I have been struggling with lately. I keep being asked how I'm managing. I was asked the other day by the paramedics (that's another post for another time), how was I managing? I think I gave the most accurate answer. I said "I have no idea what managing is anymore." I honestly have no idea.

I used to think I was doing quite well but lately, I'm not so sure. I used to think managing was getting your daily "to do" list done,  having time for a cuppa at some point and not losing it.

Recently, I'm not even getting that far. I feel spaced out most of the time, like I'm not quite in. I find it hard to make decisions, can't remember what I was going to do or say, have tons to do but can't motivate myself to do it.

I've stopped planing what's happening from day to day. I have no idea what to do for tea most days. I can't be arsed to go out and its taking me twice as long to get round to outdoor jobs (anything that involves leaving the house) .

I have no idea whats happening to me. I feel cold most of the time and start dozing off about 9pm on the sofa. I haven't spent a whole night in my bed in the last few weeks. I can't be bothered to stop what I'm doing to eat for fear that I may not get going again. Consequently, I am surviving on coffee, microwave pizza and Haribo... Not ideal really.

I feel like there are never enough hours in the day to get the basics done, let alone anything else! I have set up base camp on Mount Washmore as it is as far as I ever get. I have even tried recycling some of the kids clothes so the total volume of clothing in the house is less but for some reason it hasn't made a difference.

Don't even get me started on the rest of the house! It is an utter tip. There seems to be "Stuff" everywhere. EVERYWHERE! I have thrown out and recycled and donated but to no avail. The "stuff" seems to multiply at night in the few minutes when I actually manage to get some sleep.

Maybe its a conspiracy!

Maybe the world is plotting against me!!

Maybe I'm just flippin exhausted and talking sh*te...